Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

“It’s the same with relationships, I think. People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of that.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

I have just finished reading “Committed” by Elizabeth Gilbert.

“Committed” by Elizabeth Gilbert (via Goodreads)

This is the sequel to “Eat, Pray, Love” and follows Liz and Felipe as they continue their relationship in the way they want: travelling around the world, making a living, and generally being content. Then the US Immigration department bans Brazilian Felipe from entering the US, thus stopping him from settling down with Liz in her home country and also preventing him from making a living by selling his goods in the US. The only solution they are offered is to get married.

Neither of them wants to marry again after each already having a failed marriage behind them. So, while they wander around Asia trying to distract themselves and not make plans for the future, they spend months organising the complicated process of paperwork for their marriage and Felipe’s visa. Liz takes it upon herself to research marriage, hoping that she can find a way to make peace with the idea of it after her divorce.

She asks people in all the countries the couple visit about marriage and learns about how different societies and cultures see and treat it. She reads many books and studies on the subject of marriage through history, and she also asks her friends and family about it as well.

The book is mainly about Liz’s research into marriage, and how her findings question everything she knew about marriage. She does a lot of soul-searching and assesses all the information as she tries to reconcile herself with the fact she is being forced into another marriage just to stay with the man she loves. The reader gets to see how life without a permanent home and how the pressure of the visa application affects the couple. There are some tense moments but ultimately they know each other so well that they get through the difficult times.

This book has less of a story than “Eat, Pray, Love”, but it covers an important topic and introduces many different ideas around marriage. Nevertheless, it’s still an interesting read and worth a go if you liked the previous book! I give it 7/10.

“In the modern industrialized Western world, where I come from, the person whom you choose to marry is perhaps the single most vivid representation of your own personality. Your spouse becomes the most gleaming possible mirror through which your emotional individualism is reflected back to the world. There is no choice more intensely personal after all, than whom you choose to marry; that choice tells us, to a large extent, who you are.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage